even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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