Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
