ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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