I'm so fucking centered right now
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
