I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
