Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize