I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
