Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
