walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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