I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
