C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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