I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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