Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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