Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
