Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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