I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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