He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
