It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
