Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
