The maid of honor just puked.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
