yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
