I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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