I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
