oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
