If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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