It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
