Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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