i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize