At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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