Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize