THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
