You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Randomize
