paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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