Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize