I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
