I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm just crazy horny about you
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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