Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
