Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
