I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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