Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
