A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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