thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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