I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
