Whod you bang
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
