Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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