dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
