My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
