Define "chronic" masturbator.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
