The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
