dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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