return my video game
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
