Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
