can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
