Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he was CRYING into my vagina
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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