Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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