I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
