i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
