So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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