i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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