The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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