in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize