If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize