yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
