"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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