So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
