And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
