Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
