If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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